Anger; What Is It?

 

     You must have come across people that claim they never get angry.

     “What happens when someone irritates you?” You ask.

     “I brush it off.” They’d reply.

Almost to say that anger is a bad thing, when in actuality it is not. Only prolonged  anger can be terrible but an instant flash of irritation that can be recoiled when necessary is healthy. Look at it this way, would you rather let of the steam consciously or explode unconsciously? Yeah, me too, because it’s the better option.

Is Anger A Bad Thing?

     It is understandable that anger has a negative stigma to it especially when compared to other expressive emotions, so people tend to naturally separate themselves from admitting such sudden outburst of “incivility” if possible but saying you don’t get angry is similar to saying there are no human beings around you, including yourself, if not then you’ll find sufficient reason to be irked. Hence, learning to control it is better than running away from the inevitable and having it control you instead.

Understanding Anger

     Just like other kinds of feelings, anger is an AFTERMATH of certain actions, externally exerted or self inflicted. Keyword being aftermath because most feelings are stirred up and not automatic. When you find yourself or someone in an angry position, it means something has triggered  that emotion and will be the best time to apply these:

1.  Find out the source: Most angry outburst are not about what is at hand. Someone (could be you) comes back from work and decides to tear the house down because his washing hand bowl is in between his soup and swallow. This alone should indicate that there is more going on than meets the eye because you did not choose to break the table because the water bowl was supposedly placed wrongly. It is easier to burst open than to confront the real discomfort deep inside. Learning to confront the true cause is a challenge you must be willing to face in other to heal faster, unless you want to keep spoiling everything in your house because of the position of a water bowl.

2.  Be circumspect: This is where you learn to arrest the feeling as it is reaching its boiling point and choosing for the meantime to speak less, not because you do not have much to say, but you want to remain in control. You can achieve this by trying to see things from the other person’s perspective and putting yourself in their shoes, not to justify their actions but to find a way to let the steam out gradually, realizing that not every irritation needs an intense feedback.

3.  Blow off some steam: I know this might be contradictory to what we have been discussing but in some cases, especially when the cause of the anger is consistent and deliberate even, you will need to let of some steam. Reason? So you don’t let it off on someone else. Another will be to not let the anger clog up in your, daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly. Because eventually you’ll have to let it out or it’ll eat you inside out or cause you to be perpetually antagonistic. So letting it out once in a while, in an environment conducive for it at that time is not bad.

Conclusion.

     There are many more ways to approaching anger, but I believe that finding the right balance between knowing when to strike and when not to is one of the greatest tool you can posses. Anger can be described as a light on a match that can easily consume the stick and everything around it if not checked. It invokes a great deal of understanding, first by looking inwards and discerning the root cause of it, and taking it from there. Of course most persons would rather be arrogant and not consider themselves as the most likely cause of their anger, but in most cases, looking inwards is a good place to start.